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In a world teeming with challenges and differences, the Holy Qur'an offers a unique vision of the relationships among believers, built on sincere brotherhood, mutual respect, and social solidarity. It does not merely lay down moral rules; it instils in hearts a spirit of love and reconciliation, both in relations among Muslims in general and in the marital relationship, which is considered the foundation of society.
In this article, we will delve into the most important Qur'anic verses that deal with these bonds, supported by the exegeses al-Mīzān, al-Amthal and Tafsīr-i Nūr, as well as narrations of the Ahl al-Bayt (the Prophet's household) (peace be upon them) from al-Kāfī. How can we embody these teachings in our daily lives? And what is the secret behind making the relationship between believers so deep and so complementary? Follow along with us to discover the Qur'anic method for building strong and lasting relationships.
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The Secrets of Relationships in the Qur'an: How Does Faith Build the Strongest Bonds Among Muslims? — Basira
“The believers are but brothers, so make peace between your two brothers.”
This verse affirms that all believers are brothers in religion. Tafsīr al-Mīzān comments that brotherhood here is a “legislative designation” (jaʿl tashrīʿī) among believers, carrying legal effects and rights; it is therefore their duty to reconcile between parties whenever a dispute or fighting breaks out. It explains that restricting the relationship to brotherhood serves as a preface to giving the reason for the command to reconcile; that is, were it not for the bond of faith-based brotherhood, God would not have made reconciliation between them obligatory. Tafsīr al-Amthal explains the verse vividly, saying: just as you strive to reconcile two brothers by blood, so too you should spare no effort in reconciling quarrelling believers with complete justice, pointing to the eloquence of the Qur'an in depicting a dispute among believers as a dispute between brothers that one should hasten to resolve. Tafsīr-i Nūr, for its part, emphasises that faith-based brotherhood entails equality and mutual compassion, for the believers are one body and one family, and the unity of the believers is a divine blessing that should be met with gratitude by preserving the harmony among them. At the end of the verse comes a command to taqwā (God-consciousness) in hope of attaining mercy, which indicates that preserving brotherhood and reconciliation is bound up with fear of God.
It is narrated that Imam al-Ṣādiq (peace be upon him) said: «المُؤمِنُ أَخو المُؤمِنِ، عَينُهُ وَدَلِيلُهُ، لا يَخُونُهُ ولا يَظلِمُهُ ولا يَغُشُّهُ ولا يَعِدُهُ عِدَةً فَيُخلِفَهُ».
“The believer is the brother of the believer, his eye and his guide; he does not betray him, wrong him, or deceive him, nor does he make him a promise and then break it.”
This narration highlights the rights of brotherhood among believers: trustworthiness, refraining from injustice and deception, and the obligation to keep promises to one another. God Almighty says: ﴿وَالْمُؤْمِنُونَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتُ بَعْضُهُمْ أَوْلِيَاءُ بَعْضٍ﴾ (al-Tawba 9:71)
“The believing men and the believing women are allies of one another.”
That is, the believing men and women are allies who support one another. Al-Mīzān interprets walāya (alliance and mutual guardianship) here as encompassing cooperation, support, and mutual care in matters of religion and worldly life. Al-Amthal states that this verse sets out the social solidarity of the community of faith: believing men and women protect and help one another in what is right, enjoining good and forbidding wrong (as the rest of the verse goes on to say). Tafsīr-i Nūr adds that the verse places believing men and women on an equal footing in the responsibility of supporting one another: all are partners in faith, united by walāya and love for the sake of God, which requires each of them to stand by the other as one family.
Imam ʿAlī (peace be upon him) said in his testament: «عَلَيْكُمْ بِالْإِخْوَانِ فَإِنَّهُمْ عُدَّةٌ فِي الدُّنْيَا وَ الْآخِرَةِ».
“Hold fast to your brothers, for they are a provision in this world and the Hereafter.”
This is an exhortation to observe the rights of faith-based brotherhood and mutual support among believers, in harmony with the meaning of walāya mentioned in the verse. (Source: al-Kāfī)
2. The Rights of Brotherhood in Faith:
God Almighty says: ﴿يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لا يَسْخَرْ قَوْمٌ مِنْ قَوْمٍ… وَلَا تَلْمِزُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَلَا تَنَابَزُوا بِالأَلْقَابِ﴾ (al-Ḥujurāt 49:11).
“O you who believe, let no people ridicule another people… and do not defame one another, nor insult one another with nicknames.”
This verse forbids ridicule, defamation (fault-finding), and insulting one another with nicknames among believers, because these violate the sanctity of brotherhood. Tafsīr al-Amthal explains that the verse establishes one of the principles of social ethics in order to prevent contempt and humiliation among Muslims, for the one ridiculed may well be better in God's sight than the one who ridicules. Al-Mīzān points out that the expression ﴿لا تلمزوا أنفسكم﴾ (“do not defame yourselves”) means that a believer's faulting his brother is as though he were faulting himself, because the community of faith is a single whole. Tafsīr-i Nūr adds that among the rights of brotherhood are mutual respect and the safeguarding of dignity; the verse warns against offensive nicknames because they wound feelings and sow enmity, which is contrary to the spirit of brotherhood.
“O you who believe, avoid much suspicion… and do not spy, nor backbite one another.”
This verse addresses three fundamental rights among brothers in faith: thinking well of others and avoiding ill suspicion, refraining from spying, and the prohibition of backbiting. Tafsīr al-Mīzān says that the verse links ill suspicion with backbiting, because whoever thinks ill of others spies on them, and whoever spies finds something with which to justify backbiting his brother; and all of this is forbidden because of the sanctity of the believing brother. Al-Amthal movingly explains the Qur'an's likening of backbiting to eating the flesh of one's dead brother, ﴿أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَنْ يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتًا﴾ (“Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother?”), so as to arouse intense aversion to it. Tafsīr-i Nūr points out that these divine directives preserve affection among believers: abandoning ill suspicion keeps hearts free of hatred, avoiding spying protects privacy, and avoiding backbiting protects reputation and dignity. These are rights that must be respected so that the community of believers remains pure and bound by mutual love.
It is narrated that Imam al-Ṣādiq (peace be upon him) said: «من روى على مؤمن رواية يُريد بها شَينَهُ وهَدْمَ مروءته ليسقط من أعين الناس، أخرجه الله من ولايته إلى ولاية الشيطان».
“Whoever relates something against a believer, intending thereby to disgrace him and destroy his honour so that he falls in people's eyes, God expels him from His guardianship into the guardianship of Satan.”
This narration concerns the prohibition of backbiting and of harming a believer's dignity, and it affirms that violating the sanctity of a believing brother expels the perpetrator from God's walāya, which accords with the abhorrence of backbiting expressed in the verse. (Source: al-Kāfī)
“And when you are greeted with a greeting, greet in return with one better than it, or return it.”
The verse commands returning a greeting with its like or with one better, and this is a refined etiquette of conduct. Tafsīr al-Amthal points out that initiating the greeting of peace and returning it with ever greater courtesy spreads affection among Muslims and breaks down the barriers of arrogance. Tafsīr-i Nūr comments that initiating the greeting of peace is a prophetic sunna (practice of the Prophet), while the obligation to reply is a Qur'anic duty, which makes spreading the greeting of peace a foundation for building love and trust in society. Al-Mīzān adds that the imperative form ﴿فحيّوا﴾ (“greet in return”) indicates that replying is obligatory, and its qualification by “better” is an encouragement to take the initiative in noble character.
“And cooperate in righteousness and piety, and do not cooperate in sin and aggression.”
This verse charts the method of conduct among believers: cooperation in goodness and in fear of God, and rejection of cooperation in evil. Tafsīr al-Mīzān states that the command to cooperate in righteousness covers every good and beneficial thing that serves society, while the prohibition of cooperating in sin covers every act of disobedience and injustice that harms others. Al-Amthal explains that Islamic society rests on solidarity; each individual is a help to the other in what is right, which brings about strength and unity, whereas mutual support in disobedience and aggression is rejected by the Sharia because it destroys society. Tafsīr-i Nūr draws attention to the fact that cooperation is a social obligation for preserving the cohesion of the umma (the Muslim community); the believer is weak on his own and strong through his brothers, as in the hadith «المؤمن قويٌ بأخيه» (“The believer is strong through his brother”). For this reason Islam made cooperation in goodness an act of worship for which the Muslim is rewarded.
Narrations from al-Kāfī:
– Imam al-Ṣādiq (peace be upon him) said: «البخيلُ مَن بَخِلَ بالسَّلامِ».
“The miser is the one who is miserly with the greeting of peace.”
For in initiating the greeting of peace there is humility and a drawing together of hearts, and whoever is miserly with it has deprived himself of great good. (al-Kāfī)
– And from Imam al-Ṣādiq (peace be upon him), who said: «قضاءُ حاجةِ المؤمنِ خيرٌ من عتقِ ألفِ رقبةٍ وخيرٌ من حُملانِ ألفِ فرسٍ في سبيلِ الله».
“Fulfilling the need of a believer is better than freeing a thousand slaves, and better than providing a thousand horses as mounts in the way of God.”
And in another narration: «مَن مشى في حاجة أخيه المؤمن فكأنما مشى في شعاب الجنة».
“Whoever walks to fulfil a need of his believing brother, it is as though he has walked in the valleys of Paradise.”
These hadiths affirm the merit of cooperation and of serving one's brothers; whoever helps his brother seeking the pleasure of God attains a great reward, which realises the substance of cooperation in righteousness and piety mentioned in the verse.
4. The Relationship Between Spouses in the Qur'an:
“And among His signs is that He created for you, from among yourselves, spouses so that you may find tranquillity in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy.”
The verse points to four foundations of the marital relationship: first, that the spouses are from a single self and a single kind, so that harmony may be achieved; second, that the aim of marriage is repose and tranquillity, that is, psychological peace between the spouses; third, affection (mawadda), that is, deep love; and fourth, mercy (raḥma), that is, mutual tenderness and compassion, especially in old age or illness. Tafsīr al-Amthal says that affection is the refined human love that makes each spouse wish good for the other, and mercy is the compassion that shows itself in each one's care for the other. Al-Mīzān explains that the creation of one spouse from the self of the other indicates complete intimacy and kinship between them, so the relationship is not merely physical but spiritual, founded on a divine covenant. Tafsīr-i Nūr adds that the presence of love and mercy between the spouses is a divine blessing and one of the signs of His power and wisdom in forming the family; through them married life endures despite the difficulties it may face, and so this blessing should be met with gratitude through kind and good companionship.
God Almighty says, describing the relationship between spouses: ﴿هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَّكُمْ وَأَنْتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَّهُنَّ﴾ (al-Baqara 2:187).
“They are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them.”
The Qur'an likens both husband and wife to a garment for the other. Tafsīr al-Mīzān explains that this simile carries profound meanings: a garment covers one's nakedness, and likewise each spouse covers the other's private matters and faults from people; a garment is a shield and protection for the body against heat and cold, and likewise each spouse protects the other emotionally and socially; and a garment is an adornment for a person, and likewise each spouse is an adornment and a source of pride for the other. Al-Amthal states that this expression indicates the perfection of union and closeness between the spouses, as though they were one body; there is no constraint or barrier between them, and each completes the other. Tafsīr-i Nūr comments that the verse paints the most beautiful picture of a marital relationship founded on affection and mutual protection, which requires that their life together be conducted in kindness and with excellence, as God has commanded.
A narration from al-Kāfī: The Messenger of God ﷺ said: «مَا اسْتَفَادَ امْرُؤٌ مُسْلِمٌ فَائِدَةً بَعْدَ الْإِسْلَامِ أَفْضَلَ مِنْ زَوْجَةٍ مُسْلِمَةٍ تَسُرُّهُ إِذَا نَظَرَ إِلَيْهَا، وَتُطِيعُهُ إِذَا أَمَرَهَا، وَتَحْفَظُهُ إِذَا غَابَ عَنْهَا فِي نَفْسِهَا وَمَالِهِ».
“No Muslim man has gained, after Islam, any benefit better than a Muslim wife who delights him when he looks at her, obeys him when he bids her, and guards him, in her own person and in his property, when he is away from her.”
This narration highlights the standing of the righteous wife in bringing happiness to her husband and safeguarding his rights, which realises the tranquillity, affection and mercy referred to in the Qur'anic verses above. (al-Kāfī 5/327)
“And they have rights similar to those owed by them, according to what is fair, and men have a degree over them.”
This verse establishes the principle of reciprocity in rights and duties between the spouses: women have rights over men similar to those men have over them, while affirming for the man a degree of family leadership. Tafsīr al-Amthal explains that this degree is not a distinction in human dignity; rather, it is the responsibility of qiwāma (guardianship and charge of the family), management, and the maintenance of family order placed upon the man, in return for the duty of financial maintenance and protecting the family. Al-Mīzān also points out that the verse comes in the context of discussing the ʿidda (waiting period) and divorce, so the degree may mean the husband's priority in taking his wife back during the ʿidda, or his bearing additional responsibilities. Tafsīr-i Nūr stresses that Islam made the spouses equal in most rights, but gave the man a degree in certain organisational matters of the family, out of mercy towards the woman and because of what the man bears in the duty of providing and defending; it should therefore not be understood as absolute superiority of the man, but as a complementary division of roles.
God Almighty says: ﴿وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ﴾ (al-Nisāʾ 4:19)
“And live with them in kindness.”
Having forbidden mistreating wives or consuming their rights, this short phrase commands good companionship with wives. Al-Mīzān says: living with them in kindness includes good treatment in word, deed and financial provision, and patience with whatever a man may dislike in his wife; for God Almighty says after it: ﴿فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰ أَن تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَيَجْعَلَ اللَّـهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًا كَثِيرًا﴾ (“But if you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing in which God has placed much good”) – that is, disliking something in one's wife does not justify mistreatment, for perhaps God will place much good in it. Tafsīr al-Amthal explains that the man must bear with his wife, honour her, and not grow irritated at some of her traits, for perhaps God has made it a cause of his happiness. Tafsīr-i Nūr adds that al-maʿrūf (what is right and kind) is a comprehensive word for all good; the verse requires husbands to treat their wives humanely and ethically, and this includes gentle speech, providing maintenance without reproach, fairness in treatment, and pardoning lapses.
“Men are maintainers and guardians of women, by what God has given some of them over others and by what they spend of their wealth.”
The verse establishes the man's responsibility of qiwāma over the family for two reasons: a natural aptitude, as a rule, for bearing hardship, and the duty of financial provision. Tafsīr al-Mīzān explains that qawwāmiyya means managing and protecting the affairs of the family; it is a charge upon the man, matched by the wife's right-minded obedience within the scope of this management. The verse describes righteous wives as obedient to God's commands and as guarding the husband in his absence (by guarding herself and his property). The verse then guides how to remedy the wife's nushūz (that is, her defiance and obstinacy) in stages: ﴿فَعِظُوهُنَّ﴾ (“admonish them”) first, through counsel and reminding of God; ﴿واهجروهن في المضاجع﴾ (“and leave them alone in their beds”) if she persists in nushūz, by forsaking her bed for a period as a corrective; and ﴿واضربوهنَّ﴾ (“and strike them”) finally, a light, non-injurious striking, if she persists in rebellion. Tafsīr al-Amthal stresses that the condition of this last stage is that the wife not be harmed, and that it is an exceptional remedy in very particular circumstances; it has been reported that the Prophet ﷺ never struck a woman; the verse sets out the outermost limit and does not mean that striking is obligatory. Tafsīr-i Nūr points out that the Qur'anic method for reforming married life aims to preserve the integrity of the family; it makes the man responsible for resolving crises with wisdom and patience, and the wife responsible for accepting his guidance within the bounds of obedience to God. The verse concludes with His words ﴿فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا﴾ (“But if they obey you, then seek no means against them”), that is, if the wife returns to righteousness, it is not permissible for the man to wrong her or to use past mistakes as a pretext.
Narrations from al-Kāfī:
– From the Messenger of God ﷺ: «خِيَارُكُمْ خِيَارُكُمْ لِنِسَائِهِمْ، وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لِنِسَائِي».
“The best of you are those who are best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.”
Imam al-Ṣādiq (peace be upon him) comments on this that a man's goodness is measured by how well he treats his family, so whoever is gentle and merciful to his wife is the best of the believers. This narration accords with the Qur'anic command to live together in kindness.
– And from Imam al-Ṣādiq (peace be upon him) as well, who said: «جِهَادُ الْمَرْأَةِ حُسْنُ التَّبَعُّلِ».
“The jihad of a woman is to be a good wife to her husband.”
That is, a woman's striving to please her husband and to serve him with kindness equals jihad in the way of God in reward. This is in harmony with the Qur'an's preceding counsels to man and woman alike: just as the husband bears qiwāma and the duty of good companionship, the wife bears the duty of good obedience and safeguarding the husband's rights. In this way married life stands firm upon affection and mercy.
Conclusion
The Holy Qur'an offers an integrated method for relationships among believers, whether in faith-based brotherhood, daily conduct, or the marital relationship. These relationships rest not merely on interest or emotion, but on divine foundations of affection, mercy, justice, and reconciliation, which makes them firm and enduring over time.
When we hold to these principles in our daily lives, we create a connected and cohesive society in which every individual feels safety and support from his brothers in faith. Our commitment to these teachings is not merely a theoretical commitment, but a practical responsibility that shows in the way we treat others, in our capacity for reconciliation, and in our safeguarding of the rights of others.
💡Now it's your turn! How can we apply these values in our reality today? And what challenges face relationships among believers in our time? Share your thoughts and experiences with us in the comments!
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